Recovering from a concussion has been a long and frustrating journey. I am learning each day, that there is no way of pushing through a brain injury. It’s not like injuring muscles or nerves, sometimes you can ignore the pain and keep on moving. Not the brain. Our brains are mainly made up of water (75%) and fat (60%). Which is so amazing but it’s also why it is nearly impossible to push through when the brain is bruised or damaged. My doctors and therapist keep telling me that there is one common lesson for anyone who has had a head injury and that lesson is patience. No 2 injuries are the same and no one’s recovery is the same. We may share some common symptoms or changes but how our brains learn to navigate the damaged pathways is as different as we are physically from one another. Those of us who suffer with post concussive syndrome, we often get frustrated because we can’t remember something that happened 2 seconds ago, let alone 2 days ago. We might remember some things but remember them wrong. We may want to talk and try but the words we say don’t make sense to the people around us and yet, it sounds perfectly fine in our heads. I keep telling my family that I now know why people who have strokes or Alzheimer’s, get so angry sometimes. It’s not that we are angry at the people around us but we are angry at ourselves because it’s frustrating not being able to do the things that we were able to do so easily before. It’s frustrating to know what you want to say, sometimes seeing the words in your head but not be able to grasp them and articulate them into audible words. In the mean time being looked at by the people around you, like you are dumb or stupid. For most of us, we are still very intelligent, we have just lost the ability to process the thoughts into words. For me, I am having to relearn to comprehend words on paper. I can read the words but I sometimes can’t understand them. It’s like reading a foreign language.
Each day, we are to live in the moment and not get frustrated or fixated on the “what if’s” or on tomorrow because it takes too much brain energy which can make recovery even longer.
For me, it’s so hard to not think about how things were and wonder how long or if I will be able to do those things again.