(Day 65 Synopsis; White Rabbit Project)
Today is day 65 out of 365 days of the White Rabbit Project. When I woke up this morning, I woke up to the question, “where am I going?” “What I am doing with my blog and my passion to write?” I began this journey on a high and it seemed that I was climbing the mountain top of writing with great momentum but I forgot one simple fact and that is, it is rare to keep climbing without hitting a valley or dip. I am in that dip. The valley I call “the Writer’s Slump.” What is a “Writer’s Slump?” For me, it’s when you put out writings or posts and they aren’t getting the results you had been achieving. Posts that you know aren’t your best. In saying that, I know that I am the girl who when I’m in a dip or valley…I don’t just sit there. I evaluate the “why” I’m in the dip as quickly as possible so that I get out of the dip and start climbing again.
For me, it all comes back to finding balance in my schedule, balance between work, family and my passion to write. Lets face it, we all know that life can get in the way all too easily. I have 3 beautiful children, a wonderful husband, we have several ministries, my husband’s business and I’ve started my business just this week. With all of that, I am trying to find a balance between all of them. I know that I am an “all in” girl and that for each thing that I have to do, I have to find what that means to be “all in” without loosing something along the way. I also know that I give 100% to everything I do. I believe that if anyone reaches for 100%, we rarely reach that 100% but we can come close. If you reach for only 80%, you will fall short every time. For me, there is no other way to do something than to put 100% of my effort, talent and time into it. Remember, I’ve told you (in Day 16…”All or Nothing” That’s Me) that if there is a pause in whatever I’m doing…it’s not just a pause, it’s a full on “stop” and it takes a lot to get me going again.
Knowing who I am, I also started looking at my blog and what the obvious was trying to tell me. Here is what I found.
- The week I was so busy with ministry, I didn’t blog or write at all. Even though, I wasn’t here there were the few faithful readers in the void who kept coming by but as it is with anything else in life, if you don’t have a presence in the blog each day…you will be forgotten. “Out of sight, out of mind.”
- After that week that we were working full-time in our ministries, I was exhausted for several days. I tried to write but for me, if I’m tired and weary, my mind isn’t able to think logically let alone creatively. I did write and post despite that…but the pieces weren’t writings that I could say were good. It’s one thing to post something you know you put your passion and heart into, versus just posting to post but you knew that…right?
- If you allow them to, the demons in your mind will get the best of you. You can over analyze things or say things like… “Why keep trying?” “Who is really listening?” Here’s the thing, for me, I know that if I just write with my heart and write knowing who I am, not what others are doing or how they think I should write…then I know that what will come out is something I will be proud to say is mine and that is half of the battle. You will lose your passion for writing, if you lose who you are in the process. I promise, it will happen.
- I had to ask myself, “How committed am I to reaching my goal?” In thinking about that question, I thought about the blogs that I’ve bumped into along this journey that are dead. The last posts were years ago but their presence is still there. I imagine that there is a place on the internet where blogs go when they die but the thing is, they aren’t completely dead. If I can still find it on the internet and read the posts, they aren’t really dead. It made me wonder, “What happen to the writer?” “Did they start another blog?” “Did they get discouraged and just stop?” Did they start a self hosted blog?” “What happened?”
With all that said, here’s what I finally said to myself today. I will find that balance between my life and my passion. I will find time to rest and be fresh for my passion just as I am for my family and businesses. I will not allow myself to quit…if nothing else because I don’t want to contribute to the blog grave yard out there. Granted, there maybe a time that this transitions into something else but I am committed to see this goal realized. What does that mean exactly, I’m not positive but I know it’s not to fizzle out of existence.
So, since I have to go and live life…code for “I have errands to run” I will leave you with this great quote:
“Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting”~Yoga Berra.