“F” is for Frenemy

(A-Z April Blogging Challenge)

I didn’t know before this year that friendships come in different layers. It wasn’t until this year that I found out what a “frenemy” is…so, I came up with the friendship layers to help me understand and define who are my real friends and who are frenemies.

Layer 1: Closest friend: These are friends that have probably known you the longest. They have been there for everything, your greatest triumphs and biggest failures. They know all your deepest and darkest secrets. They remember all your relationships. They were there for all the heartbreak and for all the times you wanted to kick someone where it hurts. They know you better than your own family and would never leave you. They are the friends that you might not talk to or see for months but when you do talk, it’s like you never skipped a beat. They are truly your BFF. I have three friends, that I can call my closest friends…they are like my sisters.

Layer 2: Good friends: These friends are the ones you can trust almost as much as your closest friends. They are the ones that would stick up for you in any situation even if they may not know you for as long as your closest friends have known you. They know who you are and support you in everything you do but they don’t know your deepest secrets. They will tell you when someone is talking about you and they will stop gossip because they love you as a friend. They will be there for you no matter what it is and will support you through it all. I have a handful that I can call my “good friends.”

Layer 3: Friends: These are friends, who would call you friend back. You have fun with them but you don’t share your intimate secrets or dreams with them. They will be there for you if you ask them and they would never hurt you because they like you. You might see them now and then for coffee or lunch or shopping.

Layer 4: Frenemy: This is someone you know, that you may have tried to be friends with and started to test the waters of “good friend” but they took information about you and they used it for their own gain. They try to talk about you behind your back with your friends and good friends but don’t realize that what they say will get back to you. Initially, you might feel betrayed but if you analyze your friendship with them you’ll see things you missed. They are never there when you ask them for help or support. If they do help you, it’s because they want something. They speak badly about other people in front of you and gossip all the time. They don’t have close friends of their own but they have a lot of people that they call “friends” because they want to keep them close. They are competitive and will stab you in the back to get what they want.

I’ve learned the hard way, what a frenemy looks like and I have a new appreciation for the quote “With friends like that, who needs enemies” but more than anything, I’ve learned to appreciate my true friends.

add-as-frenemy_design

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7 thoughts on ““F” is for Frenemy

  1. Ouch! I am not sure if it is another actual layer, or just a subset, but I have realized that there are some friends who are just your children’s friend’s parents…some last and blossom and others end as soon as your kids aren’t in math class together anymore.

    • Ooh! That’s a good one! That’s a definitely another layer. I forgot about the friend-acquaintance thing that us parents get into with ballet classes, school and sports. That is definitely a strange phenomenon that happens between parents. Good one Andrea!

  2. So true. Good breakdown. I didn’t know the term for someone who seems like it friend, but really is not. Now I do – frenemy. Wish I’d understood this long ago. I’m popping in from the a-z and I love finding other believers in the blogsphere! I’m a new follower. Come visit, if you’d like:
    from The Dugout

    • Thanks Mare for popping by today and commenting. Yeah…I wish I knew about “Frenemies” before this year. I might have been more discerning about some “so-called” friends. I came by and read some of your blog today. I love what you’re doing. I hope to have time to read more.

      Hard to believe we’re almost done with the A-Z Challenge huh? See you around the blog! ~E

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